Here comes the day I want to publicly thank the Internet for all it’s done for me.
Almost five years ago, I created a Tumblr account with the intention of getting fit. I was incredibly unsatisfied with my body and turned to developing a blog that I thought would inspire me to make the changes I had been yearning for. I learned about the idea of a “fitblr” after stumbling upon how one changed a particular female’s life. I was unbelievably motivated to say the least, but almost instantaneously “gave up” on obtaining the success that my motivator had done. For about a year into having that blog, no matter how hard I tried, I would continuously make myself disappointed for not reaching the goals I had aspired to achieve. I wasn’t at the place I wanted to be in my life, in terms of my physical appearance. And while I was confident for my work ethic, dedication to learning, and support I received from my family, my self-esteem fell pretty low.
I was miserable for some time and kept these emotions anonymous. Unlike that girl who had shared her story through personal photos, and all, I wanted to keep the blog anonymous because I was nervous that people who I knew in real life would find my account and start following me. I really didn’t want people to know how “mentally hurt” I was in regards to my appearance. However, I felt that I couldn’t truly achieve happiness unless I actually put myself out there like that original fitblr did; by sharing progress pictures, personal posts, and my life’s story. So I ended up making that happen, although first opposed. This led to an increase in sharing progress photos, blogging my life away, and uploading selfies and videos tracking my journey towards happiness and self-love.
To say the least, I am glad that I put myself out there. Overall, sharing my fitness journey, which has been one rocky-road, has been such an overwhelmingly wonderful experience and words cannot describe how happy I have been in terms of opening up to the world about my experiences and emotions. Yes, I make myself more vulnerable doing so, but that is who I am and who I’ve become; I’ve learned that it’s okay to open up and that it’s helpful to.
Seeing someone’s face behind a blog develops a comfort zone with others, and that is something I quickly realized as I began this journey. Through creating this persona, I have developed strong communications with others. By sharing my hardships, my downfalls, my standstills, my interests, my passions, and my accomplishments, I’ve gained support from individuals ACROSS THE GLOBE and this has really proved successful for me. In some form or another, we have all suffered through failed friendships and relationships, faced uproars by fighting our inner demons, and have experienced joys that leave us speechless, and it is so humbling to know that I am not alone in my challenges, as crappy as that sounds. But, I learned that together, we can celebrate surpassing those boundaries virtually, and it all starts by putting yourself out there. I am thankful day-in and day-out for having received and continuing to receive advice from these individuals who offer diverse cultural, background, and social differences and perspectives. They all shed light on how to handle situations from their personal experiences, and all of their stories combined help shape my own decisions.
In greater depth, I have noticed that through opening up to individuals around the world, rather than focusing on losing something (weight), I have gained something that I didn’t really know that I was really missing: self-love. To turn it back to the reason why I formed this Tumblr account…am I at the body size that I’ve always dreamed of? No. However, with the help from others, I went from a fairly low self-esteem where I put constant pressure on my body, and actually loathing my body, to helping and supporting others pursue their dreams of achieving self-love, body positivity, and self-appreciation. Their endless support helped (and continues to help) me through those rough days. The least that I can do to thank them is to provide the same support and guidance that I was given to and for others.
Ultimately, without having created opportunities for opening up my world, I would not be the person I am today. The Internet taught me lesson from mistakes I have made, gave me unswerving friendships I’ve maintained for about five years, and provided the opportunity to receive anonymous messages containing guidance that offer really complex insights on everyday life. Together, all of these experiences guide me down a road that I would have never known. Without the Internet, I may have never grown and shaped myself into the person, gained this self-love and body-appreciation that I embrace everyday, or relish the incredible relationships I’ve formed.
By creating this fitness blog way back when, I realized that I was a soul looking to be saved because of the lack of love I had for myself. I had always torn myself apart because my body didn’t look like those in magazines or like those who surrounded me on a daily basis. I let those feelings free by sharing my own stories and photos to help me realize my integrity and authenticity, and gained support from others for having “been so real”. From sharing everything that I do, I am able to gain insight, education, and knowledge from others, while doing the same for them, and offering a virtual support system that has helped me gain the confidence I embrace today. And for this, I am thankful and un-apologetically grateful for the Internet and what is has done for me. So, thank you, world (Internet + Tumblr included), for helping me grow.